It would seem that no other business relies on the dramatical use of adjectives more than real estate sales. Here is a list of colorful descriptions to avoid:
Unusual location:- In the path of a projected motorway. Local authority grants available:- About to be condemned. Period residence:- Built in the last two years. Select neighborhood:- Beside sewage works. Compact:- Tiny. Country gentleman's residence:- No longer suitable for agricultural tenants. Unusual features:- No roof. Delightful rural location:- In flight path of nuclear bomber base. Box room:- Suitable for accommodating one or two large cardboard box's, Folded. A wealth of period features:-Yourself, dry rot, rising damp and an electrical circuit best operated in rubber gloves and wellies. Quite, secluded setting:- On site of proposed dormitory town. Well situated:- In full view of the neighbors. Within easy distance of:- Next door to a pub and opposite a sex shop local amenities. Rare opportunity to buy:- No one else want's it. For the gardening enthusiast:- Grounds like a jungle. Extensively modernized:- Former DIY owner had a breakdown under the strain. Unspoilt:- Planning permission granted for field next door. Deceptive appearance:- It looks terrible. Partial central heating:- The room above the boiler can get warm in summer. Easily maintained:- Requires at least two gardeners and live-in maid. Useful outbuildings:- No inside toilet. Much sought after:- It's been on the market at least twice before and still no one wants it. By private treaty:- If it went to auction it would never reach the reserve price. Owner eager to sell:- If it goes within a week the subsidence cracks won't be noticed. Subject to new instructions:- They have just discovered death watch beetle. Sold: - Unless idiots like you offer a higher price.
