I had a few attempts during that long time to find another...

First 319 Last

Share
Profile

Follow
Scott th Ratbag

42,017 Posts.

642

30/04/24

16:20

Post #: 73588491
Share

Originally posted by pintohoo: ↑

interesting comment, I've not heard you say that before (or I missed it)

I did for 20 years after my divorce, and maybe because I deserved to, and it resulted in a better 'me' evolving. it's certainly a much more peaceful way to live and allowed me to develop as a person.

I could not agree more. I feel the same about my single years. I'd never lived alone since my first gf at a young age -

but, my single years up until only recently -------- I now consider as by far my most valuable in gaining knowledge of self and had an enormous amount of uninterrupted time to think -

more peaceful? an understatement

but I value the uninterrupted thinking time as the greatest value ----- and when I was somewhere that I didn't speak the language --------- the value was even greater I found.

There's a hell of a lot to be said for it. Whilst in my case I missed companionship a little, I actively avoided it as well - and the lack of a warm bum in bed was not the best ----------- but, for the brain and self exploration - it was by far the most valuable time in my life so far.

Adapting to being partnered again ------ is an adaptation, worth it ----- yes, but there's a loss of something special that I'd never experienced before.

Expand

I had a few attempts during that long time to find another partner...... but each turned sour after several months and I realised that my expectations of a relationship was more the problem than I had imagined. so I also learned to appreciate what I had and to understand and accept the views of the 'other' as valid as my own views.

and so 15 yrs ago I met a wonderful woman with as many warts as I had and even more good points. this relationship has worked out better than any previous.

my lesson was that contentment can be found alone or with others as long as I don't have expectations of the other.
2 Upvote

Reply