The Stock Market was down today. Two major businesses declared...

The Stock Market was down today. Two major businesses declared bankruptcy, consumer spending is at an all time low — in other words, Bush is back on the job." —Jay Leno

"President Bush hosted something called the President's Economic Forum down in Waco, Texas today. Waco. Apparently Jonestown and Guyana were booked up. When I think of government policy that works, Waco is the place to go. He invited members of small business to the summit. He was going to invite big business, but they're all in jail." —Jay Leno

"Bush told the attendees (at his economic forum) that he wants to simplify the numbers on Wall Street so that people can understand what they are looking at. Simplify the numbers? We are already looking at single digits!" —Jay Leno

"President Bush is leaving the White House for a vacation. He's taking a month off. Yeah, take a break, you deserve it. But aides say that while on vacation, Bush will continue to make two or three speeches a week to make sure that the market keeps crashing." —Jay Leno


Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are now? Wall Street is now being called Wal-Mart Street." —Jay Leno

Things do not look good. The economy's gone south, we're at war, people are out of work. In fact, George Bush Sr. picked up the newspaper and thought, 'Hey, I must still be president.'" —Jay Leno

"The economy is in big trouble. Yesterday in a big speech, President Bush said the economy was still getting over the hangover from the 90's. And then, the president admitted he was still getting over his hangover from the 80's." —Conan O'Brien

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