A competition was recently held to findout the most...

A competition was recently held to findout the most
embarrassing moments in people's lives.The following are the final four
place getters:

Fourth Place

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-upenergy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her afterreceiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself rightnow, she would
be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!".

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.Even the tellers stopped what they were doing !I mustered the last of mydignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing thatI heard as the door closed
behind me were the screams of laughter.

Third Place

It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but myparents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for aromantic
night alone.

As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephoneringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-backride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have timeto get dressed.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenlycame on and a whole crowd
of people yelled "SURPRISE!". My entire family, aunts, uncles, grandparents,cousins and all of my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I werefrozen to the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed likean eternity.

Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise partyagain.

Second Place

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up tothe checker, she learned that one of the items had no price tag. Imagine herembarrassment when the checker got on the public address system and boomed outfor all the store to hear:

"

PRICE CHECK ON LANE

THIRTEEN. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at therear of the store apparently misunderstood the
word "Tampax" for"Thumbtacks".

In a verybusiness-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address
system;
"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH INWITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND THAT YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER ?"

Andthe Winner Is??

This one actually happened at HarvardUniversityin October last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the highglucose levels found in semen.

A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked,"If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in malesemen, as in sugar?"

"That's correct." responded the professor, goingon to add much statistical data.

Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing asked, "Thenwhy doesn't it taste sweet ?".

After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing,the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as sherealised exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied ), shepicked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, and neverreturned.

However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's replywas a classic.

Totally straight-faced,he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-budsfor sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat!"