fear of death , page-61

Hi whereu

Just a bit of self disclosure

I have meditated for a little over 45 years. About 20 years ago I fooled around by imagining myself dying. I did not entertain any fantasies about what I was dying of ... just the fact of dying.

Within a fairly short period I became quite good at it ... so much so I stopped doing it. What I discovered is deep within me [us?] is profound fear. The more vivid the sense of dying became the more I experienced that fear.

What I took away from that is ... that fear resides deeply in me [and I believe all of us] and it is the unconscious driver for many [if not all] of our decisions and actions in life. It is a part of what I consider genuine spiritual development to accommodate oneself to that fear and accept and integrate it into conscious awareness. The more a person succeeds in that the greater their capacity to be truly self possessed .... rather than driven by fear.


Also your anecdote about reviving from anaesthesia .... that experience is a direct parallel to the final stage of meditation. The difference being however that the meditator arrives at that state by intentionally withdrawing their attention away from the senses.

In meditation experience it will be much the same as the experience of 'going under' [not that I have ever been anaesthetized] with there being no experience of losing consciousness but there will be some experience of coming to. That returning to consciousness is actually the interesting bit. Because ... what witnesses the return to consciousness??? What is it that can clearly recognize the mind returning to full function???

I consider the Yoga philosophy correct on this and the Buddhist incorrect. Both traditions have that suspended animation state as the final stage of meditation... but they come to completely different conclusions about what that state means.

That cessation of the experience of a passage of time, which you can only recognize retrospectively, is the hallmark of nirodha in Yoga and nibbana in Buddhism.

Buddhists seem to be impressed by the fact that since all conscious experience ceases that means the person also has ceased. It confirms their view that there is no abiding soul/consciousness etc. etc.

Yoga explains it differently. That there is an abiding consciousness which is the witness of the activity of the mind. When the mind ceases in activity there is nothing to be witnessed ... but that does not mean the consciousness ceases to exist also.

The clincher for me is the way, when returning to full functioning awareness, the mind can be seen to be 'lighting up'... you are aware of the varying level of awareness as it returns. What is this?? Surely not the mind witnessing itself because there are two distinct capabilities present here .. namely a still foggy mind and the clear perception of that fogginess.


Any way thought I would offer that....