fear of death , page-83

whereu

I have a friend and that is exactly what he uses it for ... been doing it for years and he reckons it works every time.

Kind of glad that is what you are reporting as the initial attempt ... because it tells me you had a real go at it. Very common/normal in the beginning.

The challenge you are putting to yourself is all about your habits of mind. All kinds of mind/body habits.

Most of your life when you have closed your eyes and relaxed that is the automatic cue to go to sleep ... it will take a few goes before that automatic body response stops kicking in. However, it is an ongoing part of the task. In Tibetan monasteries, monks, while practising, are falling asleep and waking up again and falling asleep and waking up ... nobody thinks it odd.

The same thing will happen with your thoughts when you achieve a more reliably alert level of practise. At first, even with the strongest intentions, you will wander off into reverie and be completely lost in thought for much of the time. Again, this is about habits of mind. It can be a little disconcerting when you experience how short your attention span actually is.

So far you are playing par for the course.