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NoBoDe

41,259 Posts.

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03/07/20

15:15

Post #: 45629791
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Originally posted by Parsifal: ↑

betrayal - yes i think you are right but tied up in violence is betrayal anyway. when you have decided to love someone and they abuse you p whether it is physical, creating, emotional shit, financial greed or whatever it is betrayal.
the trouble with life is it is all about perception. i used to try to put myself in his shoes and some of the most foolish things i did were the result of that. by that i mean giving in rather than a clear boundary. for example if he needed to be in control then each time i resisted being controlled he would have felt hurt. if he had an idea of hat should be done and i wanted to discuss it i could be seen as diminishing him or challenging his intellect. if he wanted all my money and my house then resisting him taking all of that from me is seen as me being greedy or ignoring his rights or desires or not loving him enough. if they are fragile anything can trip them. if they want to be seen as a sex god it's easy to tread badly.

i think these challenges exist at the best of times but sometimes they are grossly exaggerated. if you look at the cycle of abuse it involves what is really successive approximations - each time you give in you confirm for them it is worth pushing further. and so boundaries get stretched. then at the end you discover it was about nothing more than winning and getting what they wanted.

I've seen about broken heart syndrome ad betrayal is like that

here's a piece of work i did - just not showing the face

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LINK_TO+Coco Chanel
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