with any phobia there are some techniques that work. What have you tried?
one is hypnosis
another is using what they call “successive approximations” that exposes you to an increasing amount of the phobia trigger in a controlled manner that might be combined with meditation or hypnosis. It’s called exposure therapy. You can actually learn that yourself
another is simple cognitive behavioural therapy
there are other techniques that can be used as well but are more borderline in terms of being not mainstream Emotional freedom technique could help or emdr- eye movement desensitisation reprocessing therapy
if you want to overcome your disability - and that’s what it is - you may also have to start with some potentially confronting questions for yourself
what started the Agoraphobia - was there any particular initial trigger for it. If there was you need to work on that
are There any particular situations that are worse?
do you ever get outside? If you do what/where is the point that panic sets in?
is there a pay off for you continuing like this? This is the hardest question to answer because it means admiring something to ourself. At some level we know why we choose whatever it is that is unhelpful for our life. I know choosing sound awful and I don’t necessarily mean it in the sense of being conscious but what would happen or what would have to be different about your life if suddenly tomorrow the agoraphobia didn’t exist? What part of your self definition would you have to face? What “stories” would you no longer have to tell yourself? Who would you be? What might you lose that has been part of who you are and what would you need to gain?
when I was with the man I became unwell. I had mysterious aches and was diagnosed with serious ulnar nerve damage on both arms that would have required four separate operations over two years and incapacitated me. Blah blah. Lots of things and I felt I could never get healthy. I went finally to see a counsellor as I felt life was a bit pointless. He asked me or suggested that sometimes persistent health issues had a psychological element and asked me what might be contributing if it were. I had talked a bit about my domestic situation though in guarded fashion. His question forced me to acknowledge that if I became well I would end up being forced to go back to work and come off insurance payments that kept us going - because I had to face that he was never going to take financial responsibility. In other words real as the diagnosis was i was most likely making it worse and impossible to recover. It was an avoidance mechanism. I didn’t have the mental strength left to leave physically so I found a psychological way out.
and you know when it ended I got well. Feeling happy, being grateful, finding contentment. These are all things that solved the problem. Sure I have to be careful but I would say there would have been no way I could lift weights before.
admitting this to myself was the first step. Second was to go back to the counsellor and admit it. Third was to start the process of healing the broken part of me. Fourth was to forgive myself. Now I am at the hardest part - trying to find a way to forgive him. One of my garments is called the forgiveness project. it represents this difficult journey. The second garment is sort of connected because it is the extension. It is light yet it’s parts stand on their own. It is transparent but not completely. It is beautiful
