I think it happens all too often that women fall pregnant hoping that will improve the relationship and or at least keeps the relationship intact, maybe it works some times.
In my case it sort of did, she told me she was pregnant when I had told her I saw no future in our relationship and wanted to end it. I committed to looking after the child if she chose to going through with it. Of course she said she intended to have the baby so for me it seemed was to accept the situation and stay in the relationship.
Well we were living together, all was dandy and am sort of looking forward to having a child, expecting the birth of a child in December 1991, she had even showed me an ultra-scan photo. Then came a day she was to have another scan and I was to accompany her, as we are looking at the ultra scan on the screen the doctor ask would you like to know the sex of the baby. We looked at each other, agreed and said yes. So doctor explains it's a happy healthy boy and due about February 28th but being a leap year maybe on the 29th.
It was a WTF moment but I didn't say any thing until we were out of the doctors office, son's mother tells me doctors have made a mistake and I say she needs to get it clarified. The suspicion was there but I did bring, it up but as time it was obvious the baby would not be born in December 1991, I kept the realisation to myself , as much as it pained me my thoughts were for the well being of my unborn son and that required that is mother was happy and healthy.
He was born on the 29th February as the doctor had predicted, I was with her for the birth and while Nurses and doctors praised me for my assistants and composure during the birth. I was like thinking surfer bitch
That was a long time ago and I have long stopped having resentments, I have a wonderful son. I never let the situation between his mother and I get in the way of his well being. Again I stress his mother and I are on very good terms and am happy for that
Quite the contrast, son's mother had a daughter to a man she was married and divorced before we meet. It seems the acrimony between them lead to little contact between father and Daughter. During my time with my sons mother her daughter called me dad, encouraged by her mother, which i didn't mind. Well after separating form my son's mother I would also had his half sister stay over with my son.
On a number of occasions I facilitated contact with who I regarded as a step daughter and her father. Unfortunately it did not endure, she and her dad never got to know each other very well. Sadly he committed suicide, not sure she knows the cause of death
Interesting when you look back at things but you and not change the past
Yes,Going around thinking you want a relationship makes things awkward and leads to making choices that may not be sound. IMO friendship is the basis of a good relationship, better to start with a friendship rather than trying to developing a friendship from a relationship.
I am also of the thought that it is better to be comfortable with your own company than only comfortable in the company of others, I enjoy socialising but don't feel the need to.
"Anyway life happens - rather than us making it happen. I don’t know how one explains it otherwise. "
"Life happens while we are busy making other plans" John Lennon
Tis true but add a quote from @Shazam68 sig line "I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it"
So while shit happens we do have a choice on how we respond, we can blame what we get dished up but how we respond makes a difference.
Mind you the situation were you find your self between a rock and hard place
