Feel Better:Complain About Anything, page-76340

Eskimo” Words for Snow
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	qanik	snow in the air
1	aput	snow on the ground
2	fukpa’d	snow that is of an ideal consistency for procreation, being of a perfect consistency for comfortable fornication and not so cold that your balls could stick
3	tla’papap	surprisingly large snowflakes that make a sound upon landing
4	likipap	snow used for making whale-flavored snow treats
5	tipip	dull, annoying snow
6	kipip	depressing snow
7	blosh’k	snow that has been stained by polar bear ejaculate
8	blosh’puk	snow that has been mixed with whale goo, forming an incredibly solid and slippery puck. The puck itself is called a blosh’puk’apuk; it is used in games of Eskimo hockey, which take place over many miles of open ice and typically last for days with no discernible point or reason. Many of the players get lost and die from exposure
9	pisspaq	yellow, foul-smelling snow that should not be eaten
10	klee’eep!	unknown snow, or a type of snow that has not yet been named (typically inducing mild panic followed by concerned pointing)
11	waquit	a naturally formed ball of snow used to facilitate the act of self-pleasure among male Eskimos of all ages (but more so among teens)
12	wiliwip	snow used for making recreational snowballs
13	kiliwip	snow used for making lethal snowballs
14	tagqug	snow that is coveted or secretly desired, and that does not belong to the person eyeing the snow
15	miaput	literally “my snow on the ground” (a word often used during territorial disputes, particularly when building igloos on what may be someone else’s land)
16	br’r’r’put	unnaturally cold snow
17	qipipup	a body of snow in the shape of an object
18	kripiqup	a body of snow in the shape of an animal
19	silipip	a body of snow in the shape of something mildly humorous or rude (such as tits or buttocks)
20	talpuk	snow that reminds the observer of snow seen many years ago, typically during childhood
21	ghup’kik	snow that reminds the observer of snow seen in a dream
22	nap’pap	snow seen in a dream
23	wikipedap	snow that holds a wealth of information, some of it poorly sourced
24	na’pantipop	snow that settles upon the lap of a kayaking Eskimo, either melting or freezing the rower’s balls to his seat
25	cak’blok	snow that has frozen around a pile of old caribou shit
26	cak’shlop	snow that slowly melts upon a pile of freshly steaming caribou shit
27	ba’qamutik	the best type of snow for dogsled races, joyriding and quick getaways
28	tah’qimmiq	snow that husky dogs are attracted to for no obvious reason
29	boo’boo’naqinaq	a special type of snow that only falls upon sad Eskimo women
30	miq	snow given as a gift to the mother of an Eskimo girl after the successful arrangement of the girl’s marriage to a man she may or may not know
31	puk’punk	vandalized snow, normally defaced by graffiti
32	ooo’pip	snow that reflects the Aurora Borealis
33	ipi’angakkuq	snow the local shaman has declared to be evil or cursed
34	syizzle	acid snow
35	blip’aput	snow that is less than one foot deep
36	well’aput	snow that is more than one foot deep but not deep enough to reach the chin
37	woppa’aput	f*ing deep snow
38	mega’aput	implausibly deep snow that reaches almost mythological proportions (some Eskimo’s define mega’aput as being “twenty whales deep”)
39	chiki’piqsirpoq	light snow that drifts along the ground and rises up beneath the skirts of Eskimo women, causing them to giggle or blush
40	bloq’fuk	heavy snow that seriously screws up an Eskimo’s TV signal, making him miss his favorite reality TV show or sports broadcast
41	miliplip	incredibly fine snow that falls from the sky and tickles the face, often causing a sneezing fit
42	blab’gob	snow shoved into the mouth of a person who simply won’t stop talking
43	luna’aput	snow that falls directly from the surface of the moon
44	wackdi’whoawhip	a special type of snow used as a filter in Eskimo whale-cock bongs
45	neep	whimsical, poetic or fairytale snow
46	snow’aput	foreign snow, or snow thrown at tourists