Eskimo” Words for Snow
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qanik snow in the air 1 aput snow on the ground 2 fukpa’d snow that is of an ideal consistency for procreation, being of a perfect consistency for comfortable fornication and not so cold that your balls could stick 3 tla’papap surprisingly large snowflakes that make a sound upon landing 4 likipap snow used for making whale-flavored snow treats 5 tipip dull, annoying snow 6 kipip depressing snow 7 blosh’k snow that has been stained by polar bear ejaculate 8 blosh’puk snow that has been mixed with whale goo, forming an incredibly solid and slippery puck. The puck itself is called a blosh’puk’apuk; it is used in games of Eskimo hockey, which take place over many miles of open ice and typically last for days with no discernible point or reason. Many of the players get lost and die from exposure 9 pisspaq yellow, foul-smelling snow that should not be eaten 10 klee’eep! unknown snow, or a type of snow that has not yet been named (typically inducing mild panic followed by concerned pointing) 11 waquit a naturally formed ball of snow used to facilitate the act of self-pleasure among male Eskimos of all ages (but more so among teens) 12 wiliwip snow used for making recreational snowballs 13 kiliwip snow used for making lethal snowballs 14 tagqug snow that is coveted or secretly desired, and that does not belong to the person eyeing the snow 15 miaput literally “my snow on the ground” (a word often used during territorial disputes, particularly when building igloos on what may be someone else’s land) 16 br’r’r’put unnaturally cold snow 17 qipipup a body of snow in the shape of an object 18 kripiqup a body of snow in the shape of an animal 19 silipip a body of snow in the shape of something mildly humorous or rude (such as tits or buttocks) 20 talpuk snow that reminds the observer of snow seen many years ago, typically during childhood 21 ghup’kik snow that reminds the observer of snow seen in a dream 22 nap’pap snow seen in a dream 23 wikipedap snow that holds a wealth of information, some of it poorly sourced 24 na’pantipop snow that settles upon the lap of a kayaking Eskimo, either melting or freezing the rower’s balls to his seat 25 cak’blok snow that has frozen around a pile of old caribou shit 26 cak’shlop snow that slowly melts upon a pile of freshly steaming caribou shit 27 ba’qamutik the best type of snow for dogsled races, joyriding and quick getaways 28 tah’qimmiq snow that husky dogs are attracted to for no obvious reason 29 boo’boo’naqinaq a special type of snow that only falls upon sad Eskimo women 30 miq snow given as a gift to the mother of an Eskimo girl after the successful arrangement of the girl’s marriage to a man she may or may not know 31 puk’punk vandalized snow, normally defaced by graffiti 32 ooo’pip snow that reflects the Aurora Borealis 33 ipi’angakkuq snow the local shaman has declared to be evil or cursed 34 syizzle acid snow 35 blip’aput snow that is less than one foot deep 36 well’aput snow that is more than one foot deep but not deep enough to reach the chin 37 woppa’aput f*ing deep snow 38 mega’aput implausibly deep snow that reaches almost mythological proportions (some Eskimo’s define mega’aput as being “twenty whales deep”) 39 chiki’piqsirpoq light snow that drifts along the ground and rises up beneath the skirts of Eskimo women, causing them to giggle or blush 40 bloq’fuk heavy snow that seriously screws up an Eskimo’s TV signal, making him miss his favorite reality TV show or sports broadcast 41 miliplip incredibly fine snow that falls from the sky and tickles the face, often causing a sneezing fit 42 blab’gob snow shoved into the mouth of a person who simply won’t stop talking 43 luna’aput snow that falls directly from the surface of the moon 44 wackdi’whoawhip a special type of snow used as a filter in Eskimo whale-cock bongs 45 neep whimsical, poetic or fairytale snow 46 snow’aput foreign snow, or snow thrown at tourists
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Eskimo” Words for Snow`qaniksnow in the airaputsnow on the...
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