>> FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - PENSIONERS VERSION >> The heat from the fire was comforting as the three electric bars >> glowed brightly in their metal cage. Nora peeked across the room over the >> rim of her Reader's Digest. Gerald was snoring lightly, with his half-moon >> spectacles balanced on the end of his nose, a thin ribbon of drool sliding >> down his chin onto the edge of his striped pyjamas. His half-read >> newspaper had fallen to the floor, and the cat had curled up on top of the >> unfinished cricket scores. >> She closed her book, turning over the corner of the page she had >> been reading so as not to lose the article on herbaceous borders, and >> placed it down next to her half–drunk Horlicks. Nora slid out of her >> chair, and grabbed the armrest. Carefully kicking off her sheepskin >> slippers and, sliding her wheeled table out of the way, she hitched up her >> velvet dressing gown and padded towards him. >> She slid her hand under his pyjama top, rubbing his arm gently. He >> smacked his lips together, as though he could taste the cod in parsley >> sauce they had for supper. His eyes flickered open and he squinted at the >> light and the looming shadow in front of him. Gerald could see she wanted >> him to follow her. >> He took off his glasses and placed them on the coffee table as he >> rose out of his chair, his knees and back cracking as he straightened up. >> She reached forward and grabbed the long-shaft of his walking stick, >> gnarled and rough, and placed it in his hand. >> Nora began to negotiate the stairs, gripping the banister, the >> light from the landing highlighting grey roots in her blue rinse. Gerald >> could hardly wait to get to bed; he settled onto the green padded cushion >> of his Stannah stair lift and flicked the button, slowly ascending towards >> her waddling behind as she stumbled up the last two steps. Nora padded >> into the bathroom as Gerald sank down on the edge of the double divan. She >> returned after a few moments, passing Gerald a cold and cloudy glass of >> tap water into which he dropped his teeth with a quiet splash. She placed >> her own glass onto the bedside table and removed her top denture, dropping >> it into the glass and adding the cleaning tablet with a plop and a fizz. >> Gerald had already slid under the 15-tog duvet and was smoothing out the >> wrinkles on his V-pillow. Nora slipped her shoulders out of her gown and >> placed it next to the commode, then slid under the paisley polyester, her >> hand brushing Gerald’s as she fumbled for the TV remote. Gerald gripped >> the handrail as he slid open the drawer under the dimly lit touch lamp and >> pulled out a blister pack of Viagra, his face falling as he realised it >> was empty. He could’ve sworn there were a couple left. Nora smiled to >> herself as she pressed the remote and the TV flickered into life on the >> opening credits of Question Time. >> She sank back into the memory foam pillow and her eyes glinted >> happily knowing that Gerald would not be able to get another doctor’s >> appointment until late next week and that the little blue pills dissolving >> in the U-bend of the toilet would be completely gone by the morning. Wicked !!!
