>> FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - PENSIONERS VERSION
>> The heat from the fire was comforting as the three electric bars
>> glowed brightly in their metal cage. Nora peeked across the room over the
>> rim of her Reader's Digest. Gerald was snoring lightly, with his half-moon
>> spectacles balanced on the end of his nose, a thin ribbon of drool sliding
>> down his chin onto the edge of his striped pyjamas. His half-read
>> newspaper had fallen to the floor, and the cat had curled up on top of the
>> unfinished cricket scores.
>> She closed her book, turning over the corner of the page she had
>> been reading so as not to lose the article on herbaceous borders, and
>> placed it down next to her half–drunk Horlicks. Nora slid out of her
>> chair, and grabbed the armrest. Carefully kicking off her sheepskin
>> slippers and, sliding her wheeled table out of the way, she hitched up her
>> velvet dressing gown and padded towards him.
>> She slid her hand under his pyjama top, rubbing his arm gently. He
>> smacked his lips together, as though he could taste the cod in parsley
>> sauce they had for supper. His eyes flickered open and he squinted at the
>> light and the looming shadow in front of him. Gerald could see she wanted
>> him to follow her.
>> He took off his glasses and placed them on the coffee table as he
>> rose out of his chair, his knees and back cracking as he straightened up.
>> She reached forward and grabbed the long-shaft of his walking stick,
>> gnarled and rough, and placed it in his hand.
>> Nora began to negotiate the stairs, gripping the banister, the
>> light from the landing highlighting grey roots in her blue rinse. Gerald
>> could hardly wait to get to bed; he settled onto the green padded cushion
>> of his Stannah stair lift and flicked the button, slowly ascending towards
>> her waddling behind as she stumbled up the last two steps. Nora padded
>> into the bathroom as Gerald sank down on the edge of the double divan. She
>> returned after a few moments, passing Gerald a cold and cloudy glass of
>> tap water into which he dropped his teeth with a quiet splash. She placed
>> her own glass onto the bedside table and removed her top denture, dropping
>> it into the glass and adding the cleaning tablet with a plop and a fizz.
>> Gerald had already slid under the 15-tog duvet and was smoothing out the
>> wrinkles on his V-pillow. Nora slipped her shoulders out of her gown and
>> placed it next to the commode, then slid under the paisley polyester, her
>> hand brushing Gerald’s as she fumbled for the TV remote. Gerald gripped
>> the handrail as he slid open the drawer under the dimly lit touch lamp and
>> pulled out a blister pack of Viagra, his face falling as he realised it
>> was empty. He could’ve sworn there were a couple left. Nora smiled to
>> herself as she pressed the remote and the TV flickered into life on the
>> opening credits of Question Time.
>> She sank back into the memory foam pillow and her eyes glinted
>> happily knowing that Gerald would not be able to get another doctor’s
>> appointment until late next week and that the little blue pills dissolving
>> in the U-bend of the toilet would be completely gone by the morning.
Wicked !!!
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