Dear ayatollah Praise be to allah the magnificent for bestowing you with wisdom beyond man's comprehension. I have a question for you oh wise one. There is a girl I am in love with. I assume its a girl but then again, who can tell with our muslim women, praise be to allah, who in his wisdom saw fit to make them as unattractive as possible, perhaps in the notion that such unattractiveness would prohibit us mere mortals from having unsavory thoughts about them.Even so, when I think of what lies behind her veil, oh such thoughts awaken within me parts that I havent been able to access for minutes.Her wonderful 98,98,98 figure, the legs as smooth as that of camels back, the perky breasts that reach down to her knees, her most wonderful behind which casts a shadow across half our land,how pray tell does allah and the wonderful and mohammad the prophet, praised be his name, expect me,a mere mortal to refrain thinking about such a heavenly creation constantly?I know on previous occasions you have suggested I get to "know" our sheep,goats and camels, in order to overcome temptation, but oh wise one, although the goats sheep and camels are far prettier,and, figure wise, they are more shapely, I have known them so many times, when they see me, they pull out the cigarettes and matches ready for an after session smoke. What advice can you give me, as I do want to come into paradise ( hell, at the moment, I am ready to come into anything you care to name ) and not be cast into the depths of hell where the jews and gentiles and all those who appose allah and mohammad, blessed be his name will dwell for eternity. I await with much anticipation, and much throbbing in my pants, for your wise response, regards greasy al abdullah
