re: arrogant french
A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only to find his bed with one sheet. He called the front desk and screamed "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!".
He was asked to check out of his room.
Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat in the hotel restaurant. Being European, he expected to have both a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his table. This irked him, but he held his tongue. He ordered a "Patty Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. When she brought him his meal, he expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread.
He flew into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! ......I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. .......OK? But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! Right now! .........Will you do it?"
The manager of the hotel was summoned and the garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to ......"Go pound frogs somewhere else."
