Fresh From The Cupboard, page-1152

"It's not over until it's over" - Idioms by The Free Dictionary

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining.

He's about as useful as a steering wheel on a mule.

He's about as confused as a fart in a fan factory.

• He doesn't know whether to check his ass or scratch his watch.
• He couldn't find his ass with both hands in his back pockets.

• He's about as useless as a screen door on a submarine / a trapdoor on a canoe.
• That makes about as much sense as tits on a bull.
• Quit goin' around your ass to get to your elbow.

• If that boy had an idea, it would die of loneliness.
• The porch light's on, but no one's home.
• He's only got one oar in the water.
• If brains were leather, he wouldn't have enough to saddle a junebug.
• He's so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.
• He hasn't got the sense God gave a goose.
• When the Lord was handin' out brains, that fool thought God said trains, and he passed 'cause he don't like to travel.
• His brain rattles around like a BB in a boxcar.
• There's a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ.
• So dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.
• He don't know shit from shinola.
• If his brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose.

• If you can't run with the big dogs, stay under the porch.
• Why so sad? Did Chevrolet stop makin’ trucks?
• Deep in the South where sushi is still called bait.
• That sticks in your throat like a hair in a biscuit.
• You’re so fulla shit your eyes are brown.
• He was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs.
• He couldn't carry a tune if he had a bucket with a lid on it.

He ( GV ) is so rich he buys a new boat when he gets the other one wet.





https://wanderwisdom.com/travel-destinations/Funny-Southern-Sayings-and-Southern-Expressions