front porch

On the first day, God
created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your
house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For
this, I will give you a life span of twenty
years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be
barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the
other ten?"
And God saw it was good.
On the second day, God
created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks,
and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year
life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for
twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How
about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God,
again saw it was good.
On the third day, God
created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with
the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have
calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For
this, I will give you a life span of sixty
years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life
you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and
I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed it
was good.
On the fourth day, God created humans and
said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For
this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human
said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave
back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty,
okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for
it."
So that is why for our first twenty years, we
eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty
years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the
next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the
front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been
explained to you.
There is no need
to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a
public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the
front porch.