A survey found that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house, and 80% kiss their house goodbye, when they leave their wife.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something interesting that you said. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
A boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Getting a husband is like buying an old house. You don't see it the way it is, but the way it's going to be, when you get it 'remodeled'.
Scientists have found that many women develop 'Hoover Disease'.... After years of marriage, they begin to make a continuous whining noise, but don't suck any more.
Marriage is a continuous process, of getting used to things, you hadn't expected!
I took an assertiveness training course; but I'm afraid to tell my wife.
My husband said he needs more space. So, I locked him outside.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
There's a way of transferring funds, that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Some people like to spend, others like to save; unfortunately they tend to marry each other!
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that?
Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
There are two times, when a man doesn't understand a woman; before marriage and after marriage.
How do I disable the auto-correct function on my wife?
