SOME EXPLANATIONS courtesy Noel Whittaker's news letter..
I hope he doesn't mind sharing - we all need as much fun as we can possibly get after the last six months...
AND FINALLY - some financial terms
Bull market: a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear market: a six- to eight-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery and the husband gets no sex.
Momentum investing: the fine art of buying high and selling low.
Value investing: the art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E ratio: the percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
Broker: poorer than you were last year.
Buy, buy: a flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.
Standard and Poor (S&P): your life in a nutshell.
Stock analyst: idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock split: when your former wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
Market correction: the day after you buy stocks.
Cash flow: the movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
Institutional investor: past year investor who is now locked up in a nut house.
EBITDA: earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor.
EBIT: earnings before irregularities and tampering.
CEO: chief embezzlement officer.
CFO: chief fraud officer.
EPS: eventual prison sentence."
Good luck to all for market open tomorow. It might be the day that something goes right...poppi
- Forums
- Humour
- funny stuff
SOME EXPLANATIONS courtesy Noel Whittaker's news letter..I hope...
-
- There are more pages in this discussion • 2 more messages in this thread...
You’re viewing a single post only. To view the entire thread just sign in or Join Now (FREE)