Remember when we were racing Usain Bolt but we were on the 50m...

Remember when we were racing Usain Bolt but we were on the 50m line?

Well since then we've pissed off and gone and tried our hand at a bit of pole vault but couldn't work out how to do it, hired a new coach, the manager got the shits and quit, the coach came up with a race plan which included spending some money on shoes, the old manager gets the shits again and forces his way back in and the Olympic committee thought that unfortunately this guy owns most of us so we better make him a consultant, new consultant/old manager gets the coach fired coz God forbid we spend some money on shoes to help us win a $billion race, tells all his fans that unfortunately because he's just a consultant he'll have to go dark on social media, turns out he's actually addicted so that lasts about 2 weeks, now he and the team are "swiftly" coming up with a new race plan that involves running the race barefoot coz that's the cheapest way, while the consultant tries to come up with new metaphors coz "iceberg" and "shooting on the goal line" have already been used. Meanwhile Usain is flying on by.