The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.
Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago, stands up and proclaims: "If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!"
More sighs and loud applause.
Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, " If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex."
There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?"
Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F##k the Vicar'.
