Title: Lunch at the Club: An Ode to ShareholdersSceneThe Terrace...

Title: Lunch at the Club: An Ode to ShareholdersScene

The Terrace of the Wisteria Country Club

(The camera pans over a picturesque lunch setup with blooming bougainvillea in the background. Two women sit at a table adorned with champagne flutes and pristine white napkins. The wives of wealth, dripping in designer attire, are deep in conversation. Mildred, the Sayona wife, fidgets with her diamond bracelet. Beatrix, the Piedmont wife, dabs her mouth with a monogrammed handkerchief. Both women are the epitome of unearned privilege.)

MILDRED: Honestly, Beatrix, I just don’t know how much longer I can take this economic downturn. It’s practically a tragedy. My husband insisted I hold off on upgrading my AMG this year—can you believe it? Two years old! I may as well be driving a fossil.

BEATRIX: Two years old? Mildred, darling, you’re practically slumming it. My husband bought me the new G-Class just last week. Said it’s important that I represent the company well when I host charity galas. Sips her champagne with studied elegance.

MILDRED: Well, clearly, your husband’s rare earths empire can afford such luxuries. My husband, on the other hand, is stuck dealing with those pesky little shareholders on HotCopper. You wouldn’t believe the nonsense they post—blaming him for Sayona’s price drop! It’s infuriating. There’s this one user, what’s his name… Y4ukikmycow? He’s relentless, a real bore!

BEATRIX: Gasps dramatically. Mildred, shareholders are always causing trouble. They simply don’t understand the pressures of leadership. It’s exhausting, really. My husband’s company had a slight dip last quarter, and yet here I am, still managing to host a luncheon. Gestures to their decadent table.

MILDRED: You don’t know the half of it, Beatrix! Up until last week, I was still using the Sayona credit card to buy couture dresses. And now—now—I have to wear the same dress twice. Twice! What’s next, carrying my own groceries?

BEATRIX: Drops her flute in horror. Mildred, stop. You wore the same dress twice? My children would refuse to be seen with me if I did that. Thank goodness Gregory’s company pays for their boarding schools—they’re at the very best, of course.

MILDRED: Ugh. Don’t remind me of your Martha’s Vineyard estate and your yacht. Meanwhile, we’re stuck in Vaucluse. Vaucluse! It’s practically the suburbs!

BEATRIX: Oh, dear. Well, I’m sure you’ll bounce back soon. Maybe Sayona can merge with someone reliable.

MILDRED: Scoffs. I’m not so sure. Last week, one of our loyal posters, Lordaga, suggested a merger name: "Piedona" I mean, it does have a certain charm, doesn’t it? At least it might distract those rabid shareholders.