If you go back I asked you what you'd DO....
But to sum up, you seem very upset because you think you have no control over the situation and have no prospect of having control, and the people in charge don't seem to consider you important enough to clue you in on what is happening.
You are right to think that.
Maybe what you need more than answers to your questions on FFX is a course is zen philosophy,
Some main principles of Zen philosophy are
the denial of the ego, t
he focus on interconnectedness in the universe,
the recognition of attachment as a source of suffering,
and the realization that human perception is faulty.
Once you master that lot I think you'll be a lot less angry. 
