While we write with pseudonyms, we know that behind every name there is a real person of value with actual lives. The thrust and parry of exciting debate here pales into insignificance when a major part and purpose of your real life has been taken away. People matter more than these things. We empathise with you in your grief during the months to follow. Thank you for letting us know.
This is one of life's cataclysmic experiences which no doubt will be followed by long periods of reflection. Why, and whereto? You will be feeling tender and directionless, and at times even be wondering if there is anything left. It may be premature to discuss this but yes, there is. It is in your family, in the goals your husband would want for you, and in the skills and capacity you have for contributing to others.
In terms of contact, we here are virtual in the first instance (but not computer generated), so that our support can only be of an 'in spirit' kind. Sulu, please do keep reading this board (and others) and perhaps perceive that the world will continue, and that you are a treasured part of it. We will look forward to your return to discussion here when you feel free.
Juke
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