I have an insider who writes for Bush. Here is an advanced copy...

I have an insider who writes for Bush. Here is an advanced copy of his address:

"Good morning fellow Americans.

Times have been tough lately and I can sympathize that many of you are worried. I am here to reassure you, everything is is in good order. Our Financial institutions, whilst down for the count, are by no means out. We are Americans and we will solve these problems.

A couple of weeks ago, Hank and Ben spent the entire weekend drawing up a detailed road map to restore stability to this financial house of cards. They concocted a plan so magnificent many have overlooked its simplistic nature. Three simple pages of demands were made. They included money from tax payers that would go straight into the hands of the CEO's who have worked relentlessly to sell you and your future generations into debt slavery. The right for Hank and Ben to do whatever they wanted for their comrades on Wall Street without any recourse from the judicial arm and many other important points that will ensure you the people remain blind and ignorant while we make out like bandits at the top here.

The last 8 years have been hard on everyone. I should know. Some have blamed me for the worlds problems. I ask you, did I fly those planes into the World Trade Center? Did I go out and tell everyone to buy houses they couldn't afford? Did I set interest rates to ridiculously low levels and tell people to spend beyond their means?

Some now blame me for the fact that the bailout is not working. I offer you this. God spoke to me last night. He said not to worry that the bailout isn't working yet - everything will be OK. For me. Goodbye and good luck all. You are going to need it".