Andrew Constance Catches Himself Daydreaming About Throwing Haymaker At PM Mid-Press Conference
Andrew Constance Catches Himself Daydreaming About Throwing Haymaker At PM Mid-Press Conference — The Betoota Advocate
Recent poll numbers have shown that voter dissatisfaction with Scotty From Marketing is leaving him more and more isolated as both a political candidate and a leader of his own party.
As it stands, the only allies he has left in the party are the loyal drones he has picked off the Hillsong conveyor belt like Alex Hawke MP and Stuart Robert MP.
The Prime Minister’s stream of abrasive comments about religious freedoms and China, as well as his willingness to pass the buck on any responsibilities appears to be jeopardising the careers of both his moderate Liberals and marginal National MPs by the minute.
However, there is one faction in his party that are feeling the heat just as badly – without any media coverage.
The rural Libs.
With both teals and Labor threatening the chances of re-election for LNP and Liberal members right across NSW and Queensland, Scotty From Marketing appears to have no plan to win back the voters in country towns with antique stores.
This may be because the Prime Minister realises that the next Coalition Prime Minister may very well come from one of these ‘commuter electorates’
Just like how Angus Taylor was put on the most difficult portfolio of Energy and Climate Change when his sharp haircut and handsome jawline posed a risk to the party leadership, it seems the candidates and MPs from the likes of Groom, Hume and Longman are all covered in chum and ready to be thrown to the sharks – if it means Scotty gets to keep his job.
Another high-profile NSW Liberal Party figure that knows this kind of calculated abandonment all too well, is the former NSW transport minister turned Federal Candidate for Gilmore, Andrew Constance. A man who has been dealt the wildly unpleasant task of pretending to smile during press conferences with the Prime Minister for the last month.
As a state minister, Mr Constance was vocally critical of the Prime Minister during the 2019-20 bushfires, saying he got “the welcome he deserved” when locals called him a f*wit and refused to shake his hand on the NSW South Coast in January 2020.
Today, with the towns in his electorate still f*ed from bushfires and yet to received a single cent of disaster funding, Andrew Constance has once again found himself drifting off into a glorious day dream, where he, the double agent sent by Gladys, positions himself perfectly and lands a haymaker on Scotty’s chin, in front of the cameras, while he downtrodden constituents cheer. The Prime Minister folds over like he’s choking on a buffalo wing, before dropping to the ground like the unathletlic sack of shit he is. As Andrew Constance roars ‘this is for COBARGO!!!’
“Mr Constance!” shouts a local journalist at today’s press conference, snapping him out of his fantasy.
“What do you think about the Prime Minister’s plan for a stronger economy!?”
“ahh. Yeh” says Constance.
“Sounds good. Yeah he’s a good bloke”
“water under the bridge”
“No bad blood here”
“None at all”
“We’re all good”
“I promise”
