Former marketing manager Scotty from Marketing has delivered a teary final speech and has officially finished his time in politics to spend more time with his family, and finally confront them about his Prime Ministership.
Scotty’s time in office was so full of blunders, mishaps and casual corruption that you could easily forget half of the mental shit he did and said and still come up with a funny list of his biggest WTF moments as PM.
One thing that all of these cock ups have in common is how the aspiring empathiser managed to bring his wife and kids into all of these issues as if blaming your family for your setbacks was another way to trick the public into thinking you’re a regular footy-watching bloke.
“Jenny and the girls have always been why I do everything, for better or worse,” stated Scotty, giving his final address as an MP into several microphones facing the wrong way.
“I didn’t get to spend much time with them as Prime Minister, except for during all those times I wasn’t doing my job because I promised my girls I would spend time with them.”
“In other countries, poorly performing leaders are met with bullets but not here in Australia.”
Over some forced handshakes, Scotty asked the press to remember that whatever new corruption comes to light from his time in office is also his family’s fault before playing Closing Time on his phone and bidding us farewell.
“I have no regrets for my time in Parliament, but it’s time I spent some time with those that do. Adieu.”
“Alright, I’m going now…Bye!”
“Seriously, I’m gone. If you’ve got anything to say, just say it now…because I’m going, bye!”
