god's will you say?, page-28

Some important lessons we should all learn from the bible be you atheist or believer.

Personally I believe in THOR the red-haired and bearded god of thunder in Germanic mythology as he has a cool hammer, likes a beer & listens to cool music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIc4VHxU7iM

Family Values
Genesis 19:4-8
But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house; and they called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, that we may know them." Lot went out of the door to the men, shut the door after him, and said, "I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly. Behold, I have two daughters who have not known man; let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please; only do nothing to these men, for they have come under the shelter of my roof."

Deuteronomy 21:18-21
If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father; or the voice of his mother, and, though they chastise him, will not give heed to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, "This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard." Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones; so you shall purge the evil from your midst; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Exodus 35:2
For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.
Leviticus.
20:10 If a man commits adultery with another mans wifewith the wife of his neighborboth the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.
20:13 If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death.
Luke 14:26 Jesus says "If any man come unto me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brother, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he can not be my disciple."


Love your fellow man & respect woman
Numbers 31:17, 40
[Verse 17, Moses says:] "Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man by lying with him. But all the young girls who have not known man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves."

Meek and mild Jesus, the harbinger of love, mercy, and turning the other cheek.

Matthew 10:34-35
"Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's foes will be those of his own household."

How I get out of working weekends
For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death.

Leviticus is solid gold

-- 12:1-8 Bible calls childbirth a sin

-- 13:40-41 On baldness: "And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean. And he that hath his hair fallen off from the part of his head toward his face, he is forehead bald: yet is he clean."

-- 15:16-18 Sperm and intercourse are unclean

-- 15:19-33 Menstruation is unclean: elaborate taboos regarding menstruation

-- 15:29-30 Women must make sin offering for having menstrual periods

20:15-16 Death decreed for bestiality (the poor innocent beast dies too)

Deuteronomy
- 22:5 Men's clothing not to be worn by women, and vice versa
-- 22:13-21 A bride who is found not to be a virgin must be put to death

-- 22:23-26 God's law: a virgin raped in the city is to be given no pity

-- 22:28-29 Paying a father to have sex with his daughter

-- 23:1 "He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord."

-- 23:2 Child born out of wedlock condemned as bastard; offspring punished for the next 10 generations

-- 23:10-11 Cleaning up after nocturnal emissions -- described rather obliquely in the King James

-- 23:13-14 Be sure to bury your fecal matter with a paddle. Why? "For the Lord thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp..."
-- 28:27 Hemorrhoids ("emerods") are a punishment for sin

II Samuel
-- Chapter 13 Amnon rapes his sister

II Kings
6:24-33 "So we boiled my son, and did eat him"

Esther

-- Chapters 1-2 A sexual contest is to decide the new queen: The original queen refused to dance naked before the king's bawdy guests, so she is banished for having upheld her womanly dignity. The king then defiles a different virgin "in the king's chambers" every night for over three years (this means that at least 1,000 young women were sacrificed to this man, as non-virgins could not marry). Esther eventually wins the contest and is crowned queen. (Nowhere does the bible denounce this affair.)
Psalms

-- 137:9 "Happy shall he be that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."

Song of Solomon (the entire thing is pure gratuitous pornography -- I know it when I see it!)

-- 2:3 "I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste." Sat in his shadow? Tasted his fruit? My, my!

-- 5:4 Killer foreplay: "My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him."

Isaiah

-- 16:11 God's boast: "My bowels shall sound like an harp"

Matthew
-- 19:12 Castrate yourself for Jesus

I Corinthians
-- 14:24-35 Women, keep in silence; you may learn only from husbands

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs

Stephen Roberts I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours