@M3FORME@Trentp --




https://ideas.ted.com/7-strategies-to-help-you-live-with-uncertainty/?utm_source=linkedin.com&utm_campaign=social&utm_content=2020-10-22&utm_medium=social

7 strategies to help you live with uncertainty

6. Stop looking for someone to rescue you

When we act as though we are powerless, we get trapped in narratives that leave us feeling angry, helpless and trapped. And we start hoping other people will save us from our misery.

Although it can feel good when others dote on us, most rescuers don’t really help. Our friends might want to save us — because helping others makes people feel good — and their intentions might be noble. But rescuers tend to be better enablers than saviors. If we stay stuck, they get to keep their role as our hero or they get to distract themselves from their own problems.

Rescuers tend to give us permission to avoid taking responsibility for our own lives. On the other hand, emotionally supportive friends (or therapists) see us as capable of solving our own problems. They ask questions that help us focus on what we do want instead of what we don’t.

In short: To best cope with uncertainty, we need to stop complaining. When we drop our fixation on the problem, we can focus on the outcomes we desire. How can we make the best of this mess? What can we gain in this situation?

When we take responsibility for our lives, we trade the false power of victimhood for the real power that comes from creating the life we want.

7. Find meaning in the chaos

Social psychologists define meaning, as it applies to our lives, as “an intellectual and emotional assessment of the degree to which we feel our lives have purpose, value and impact.” We humans are best motivated by our significance to other people. We’ll work harder and longer and better — and feel happier about the work we are doing when we know that someone else is benefiting from our efforts.

For example, teenagers who provide tangible, emotional or informational support to people in crises tend to feel more strongly connected to their community. Research shows that we feel good when we stop thinking about ourselves so much and support others.

When we see something that needs improvement, our next step is to recognize what we personally can do to be a part of the solution. What skills and talents (or even just interests) can we bring to the issue? What really matters to us, and how can we be of service?

Meaning and purpose are wellsprings of hope. When the world feels scary or uncertain, knowing what meaning we have for others and feeling a sense of purpose can ground us better than anything else.

Don’t just wait for this ordeal to be over. Don’t be resigned to your misery while we wait for a vaccine or for the pandemic to ease. What have you always wanted to do? What outcome are you hoping for? How can you make a real life during this time? Live that life.