Gold and macro environment, page-500

I watched $4m disappear. It took years, but it all did. Nearly brought me to complete financial ruin.

I allowed my entire economic future to ride on one single outcome on one single position. When that one single position becomes so large, it became impossible to view it rationally.

I could not see what was staring me in the face the entire time I was holding on to that position, even after I had decided 'this is the sort of company that sucks in retail suckers like me, and I would never invest in a company of such ilk ever again'. Logically, that is the cue to sell.

Alas, logic does not apply when all one can think about was 'maybe today is the day' that magical outcome happens and I'm set for life. It would solve every problem I have, my future will be secure, I can boast of a spectacular return and go on to achieve even more wonderful returns and be 'that guy who made it.'

Too f*ing blind and stupid to see that the moment had come and gone long ago.

Sometimes I think about how things might have been if I had pulled the trigger and exited my entire position at that time. Of course the only way that would have happened was if I had typed in the wrong Sell quantity. And even if that had happened, I know today I would merely have gone on to blow all of it on all kinds of rubbish in my mistaking of luck for skill. All I remember is the giddy feeling that the $4m today might become $6m tomorrow and I will be even happier.

Some losses one needs to take, some shit one needs to eat to learn. And only with this most painful of lessons have I finally developed the necessary sensitivity to both opportunity cost, and loss to stand a chance of being modestly successful.

TLDR: This is why imo you should always have something else your champing at the bit to buy, it makes it easier to get out.

My own preference now is to limit my position sizes to 15% of my portfolio now regardless of my enthusiasm for it. I've found that size to be appropriate in helping me to contain my enthusiasm.

By not messing with my head enough such that I look only at the positive possibilities and not the potential negative outcomes.

I do miss the days of feeling incredibly rich (relatively only of course) one day, and incredibly poor the next day. No, not really.