Good News & Bad News, page-38111

Good luck for your family and house, dfs. I find the wife to be the best human shield in such events, given storms are named after women and as such they are best suited to deflect flying debris. Besides, I don't like to get involved in chick fights - lest I am a happy observer . And because I in turn traded away the deadly privilege of acting as a human shield in the case of a home invasion - in a fair trade of risk you understand - a tale of constant storms and bandits, of whom are yet to materialize. Nevertheless, she buys me guns and knives for every birthday and Christmas and insisted I undergo 5 years of martial arts training in the unlikely event. And so it was that I, the master strategist, was outsmarted by a force more powerful, more cunning than the storm itself. Which leads me back to the very reason why women make for the best human shields during climactic events . All of life is a storm.

Oh, and all hail PLS - in the context of storms and the protection of one's favoured, metaphoric shield - during times of tempest . And the home invaders of whom (should they ever materialize) will apparently meet with a grizzly end at the hands of her very own personal assassin .

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am due to attend one of her weekly, practical examination sessions where I must snatch pebbles from her hand, and should I fail a retired Mossad agent will turn up at my door for further, usually rather brutal training. I really didn't think the human shield trade through .