I was strolling along the beach at Malibu recently and who...

I was strolling along the beach at Malibu recently and who should come gushing from the water ,looking as fresh as a daisy as she always does ,but my good friend Cameron

'Pisces ,how are you ,where have you been you poor darling '

'Oh well Cameron I was looking for a bit of a break,it's been a rough year ,I don't know what's become of Elizabeth '

'Pisces you poor sweetheart ,it's been all over the papers ,she's left you for some emaciated ray lamped toupeed guy who walks around in his hospital gear .I think he's on Grey's Anatomy',

'Oh dear ,so that's what happened ,it sort of got rather quiet at home,she wanted to go to the cricket all the time and I hate the cricket'

'Pisces you absolute sweetheart ,you were always too good for here ,she's just a complete bitch you know, and there isn't one part of her body that the surgeon hasn't had his way with '

'Well he was a very good surgeon '

'She's fat '

'Hmmmm'

'How long are you here for ?'

'oh ,maybe a week or so '

'That's so cool right ,I'm here all alone in my beachfront mansion and I'd just love your company ,you an tell me all about the sharemarket and all those squiggly lines thingamyjiggys ,pleaese come and stay ,I've got a spa that looks right across the ocean'

As you traverse your path in life XJOER'S you learn that when certain suggestions are put to you it is often prudent to take a short time to weigh up the consequences of your actions.

Unfortunately before this proficient filtering process had traversed it's way from my comprehension of the proposition to my brain ,I heard the words come tumbling out of my mouth.

'I'd love to '....so shortly thereafter I found myself following the delightful Cameron up the hill to her secluded abode,and a very pleasant journey it was indeed

It wasn't long before she'd assembled herself into something more comfortable .

The object of the woman's vitriol soon became apparent

'That Liz ,she's such a fat cow ,she can't act to save herself,she'd do anything to get her botoxed head into the paper .I bet she never knew how to satisfy a man either ,did she Pisces '

I could sort of feel my body temperature rising at this point as her lips curled up at the intonation of her slow enunciation.

'Gentlemen always really prefer blondes don't they Pisces ,and you guys at the XJO are such gentlemen ,Maxi,with all his muscles ,Redbacka with all his brains and Costa with all his hair. Reece reads it every day .She can't stop talking about it. And Drew just loves Loki ,he's so cute the way he sweats over everything . But you're my favourite Pisces ,and she's made you suffer so much ,come upstairs and we'll see whether you really miss that fat overpayed cow or not '

I followed as ordered , she had something on her mind and I felt it my duty to find out what it was

Suffice it to say that the depths the woman would go to to prove herself superior in any way that she thought mattered to my erstwhile betrothed knew no bounds. She navigated the sheeted space with such dexterity and determination that your humble correspondent had no alternative but to lie back and tally up as many pleasant memories as his imagination had room for .

When it was over we lay together in a ceiling stared fagless pose ,me pondering the moment and she still requiring affirmation.

'I'm better than here aren't I Pisces',she cooed in a way that meant a negative response could potentially destroy the moment.

I wasn't about to unsettle the blissful mood 'Yes you are ,I don't know what I ever saw in her'

So the fame of the XJO has spread far and wide ,to Malibu no less ,where the rich beautiful and famous are hanging out to meet the guys whom they covet and admire from a distance.

Ponder this as you enter the trading day my friends and be aware of the joy and secret lust that you engender in others

Trading is such fun isn't it .Greetings from Malibu