Welcome to HCTV. This week, the classic British comedy Fawlty Towers
Biggs Fawlty and his wife Sybil Honeydew, run a B'n'B in seaside Perth, and along with their maid, Penny and immigrant porter Disco Manuel, they are expecting a HotCopper conference for the weekend!
BF....Good morning gentlemen, I trust you are here for the HotCopper conference. Guests...Yes I am Voltaire, and this is my colleague Haspete. One would assume everything is in order for our arrival BF.....Yes of course......Your rooms have been prepared with the historical chart wallpaper as you requested. I see you have the heart patch.....I will look after you (wink). Manuel, take the gentlemens bags to room 19. DM......Que? BF.....Bags! Room 19!.....I'm so sorry, we got him from the music business
BF......Penny, I want to seem like I know what I'm talking about, so nip down and buy me some shares in Newcrest, here's a tenner! P.....Yes Mr Fawlty.
BF.....Aah the chef is here, we're really going to impress the HotCopper boys Sybil. SHF......That's nice dear! BF.....How are you Chef Jeeps? J......If I don't get The Weight soon, I'm going to trash the joint BF......You're drunk aren't you........Typical!
SHF.....Of course you can use the phone Mr Mowibble.....you are a specimen of manhood aren't you. Never knew what Biggs saw in this forum, but I'm starting to come around.
BF....It's ok Mr Wassup, we had a rabid rat on the loose, and the chef's passed out.....(psychotic chuckle)
BF.....This is all your fault, you simple bastard! Playing that bleedin music! The chef's on a bender! DM.....Meester Fawlty, I know nothing. (smacks Fawlty over the head with frypan)
BF....I'm fine..(twitch), I have guests to attend to!
Guests....Can we help you? We're the Gunters! BF....Oh you speak English JG....Of course BF....Ah, wonderful! WUNDERBAR! Ahh! Please allow me to introduce myself, I am the owner of Fawlty Towers. And may I welcome your war... your war... you wall... you all... you all, and hope that your stay will be a happy one. Now, would you like to eat first, or would you like a drink before the war... AHH! Er... trespassers will be tied up with piano wire... SORRY, SORRY! BF....Is there something wrong? JG....Will you stop talking about the war BF....Me? You started it! JG....We did not! BF....Yes you did, you invaded Poland BF....Well, I'll just get your hors d'ouevres....(German accent) Hors d'oeuvres... vich must be obeyed at all times vitout qvestion!
P....Mr Fawlty, I'm afraid your Newcrest shares have dived. BF....God you vicious bastard! I'm warning you, if you don't go up....I'll count to 3.....1....2....3....Right! You've screwed me for the last time, don't say I haven't warned you. This is it, I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing!
BF....Leaving already? Guests....Yes it's been an interesting weekend.
DM....Hello, Manuel Towers, Is nice day, Goodbye!
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This episode of Fawlty Towers has been brought to you by 'Refreshing Crack'.....Aahh.
Market Update The DOW lost 1.27% on Friday due to poor non-farm payroll numbers. The S&P was down 1.61% and the Nasdaq was hit particularly hard at 2.25%. ASX futures closed down a whopping 51 points. It could be an interesting morning, but definitely not a time to sell in my opinion. Sell in May and Go Away is proving fruitful so far. French and Greek elections are happening as I type, the outcomes may have a bearing on markets. Today we will have important information with the job ads, the NAB business confidence survey and retail trade for March. On Tuesday we have the Federal budget, and important Chinese data will be released Friday.
(20min delay)