This week we present the comedy stylings of... The Naked Gun
Beirut, Lebanon
Gentlemen, our plan to infiltrate HotCopper has worked beautfully. We have placed agents in the general forum, no one suspects a thing
Ed Ninelives...Frank, there have been rumours of subversives within HotCopper, only the other day one of our posters Disco Stu was battered endlessly. I know he's a knob, but that's no way for a man to go.
Frank Bluesdog...Ah, you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!
FB...Stu...what happened? DS...arggh drugs. FB...Nurse get this man some drugs. DS...No, heroin. FB...Listen Stu, you're gonna have to give me a couple of days on that one DS...Drug traffickers after Queen Paddo.
Bluey checks out the general forum for clues. Later in the HC green room
FB...I've finally found someone I can love - a good, clean love... without utensils. EN...Frank, we've got a lead. I need you to go and see a man called Pahpschmir.
Jacques Pahpschmir...The real conspiracy is what's in these spring rolls. FB...Pahpschmir, I should have known it was you. What dastardly plan have you concocted now? JP...You're too late Bluey, as we speak your precious Queen Paddo is being targeted by our deadly chemtrail.
QP...Thankyou for saving me Bluey. FB...All in a days work, just hope my wife doesn't find out. QP...How did you meet her? FB...I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the HC functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Perth Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or being able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact, I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was.
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The Naked Gun was brought to you by the local Chinese restaurant.
Market Update Overseas markets were mixed on Friday, both Gold and Oil were down almost half a percent. SPI futures sit at +17. Here is a summary of the weeks data courtesy of Business Spectator... "The week ahead brings a number of important economic indicators, dominated by highly-anticipated local consumer inflation data. An otherwise thin local week will force investors offshore for action. In the United States, existing home sales data and performance of manufacturing figures will be released. Elsewhere, gross domestic product data for the fourth quarter will come out in the United Kingdom. A huge week in company news brings the first hints of the upcoming February earnings season locally, in the form of interim results from Alesco Corporation, ResMed and GUD Holdings. Quarterly production reports are also due from mining giants BHP Billiton and Fortescue Metals Group. And finally tech giants Microsoft, Apple and Google will release results, as the fourth-quarter earnings season continues in the US."
(20min delay)