HCTV is proud to present a new episode of the popular reality show, The Apprentice. Strap yourself in and enjoy!
Money, Money, Money, Moneeeeey......Moneeeeey!
Only 4 candidates remain in the running to be chosen as The Apprentice, and be offered a position at the head of one the Backa group of trading companies. Red Backa, the flambuoyant trader, blogger and philosopher has final say. Who will get fired this week?
Let's meet the final four.... Costa4, former toll booth collector...
Mowibble, previously a Batman impersonator...
Obewan96, who played Moses in his local community production of The Ten Commandments.
And Zia, well known half man half woman who achieved fame with Barnum and Bailey.
(phone rings in the penthouse above the Zoomba Lounge)
Good Morning, this is Penny, Mr Backa's secretary. Mr Backa would like you to meet him downstairs in the foyer at 9am...
Costa - 9 in the foyer, I'm first in the shower. Mowibble - God I hate that guy, don't know how he got this far! Obewan - I need to iron my robes Zia - Only 4 of us left now, my claws are out. Costa - Shower's free. Mowibble - Eww look at all this hair in the drain!
(9am) RB - Congratulations on reaching the final 4. One of you will be offered a dream position with one of my companies. Today I want to get back to basics. I will split you into pairs and give each pair a position in one stock of my choice. Your job is to use your initiative to get the price to rise. The pair that holds the largest relative position at the end of the day will be the winners, and as reward will spend a night out at the exclusive Zoomba Lounge. The losing pair will meet me back here in the boardroom. The pairs will be Mowibble and Costa, Zia and Obewan, who are you nominating as project managers? Costa and Zia....ok, Here are your stocks...Costa and Mo you have NCM (oh no!!). Zia and Obe you have VOR (who?) Good luck!
Costa - Newcrest, you're kidding me....dropping like a stone. Mowibble - It's usually the project manager that gets fired isn't it? Costa - C'mon Mo we can do this....news has killed the price.....what if we make up good news???.......or we could steal lots of gold and drive the price up.
Obewan - Who the hell are VOR? Zia - According to the Cheap Shares guide for 2012, it's a copper-gold explorer. The charts show it breaking medium term support on less than stellar results. Obewan - But it's a speccy....I have an idea....
Mowibble - Are you sure this is what you want to do? Costa - It's his fault apparently. If we do something about him, confidence may be slightly restored. Mowibble - You're the project manager.
Zia - I hope this works, it cost us a little more than I thought! Still he's supposed to be the best. Obewan - What were all those weird drawings on the wall?
(5pm....Time to tally the results) RB - Right earlier today I gave both teams the task of manipulating the price of a selected stock, and the team with the largest relative position would be the winner. As usual I've had my trusted associates checking on each team. Haspete, my VP of Squiggly Lines was with Zia and Obewan, how did they fare Pete?
HP - Well Mr Backa, they actually had an ingenius idea of using an internet stockmarket forum, in order to ramp the holders into a buying frenzy. And they made the sensible decision to hire a professional, a man called Martis!
The shareprice improved by 4%, but Martis got a 60% cut, so the final tally is 1.6% for Obewan and Zia.
RB - Not bad, not bad at all! Let's see how Costa and Mowibble went. My Gen Mgr of the VSA division, Mitta was there to check on them. How did they go Mitta?
Mitta - I'm afraid, not very well Mr Backa. I personally thought a bluechip stock like NCM was a hard task. Costa as the project manager, decided on a plan to kidnap Ross Garnault.
I'm not sure whether that would have achieved a price rise, but both are being questioned by Federal Police as we speak.
I don't know why Costa wore the superman outfit. Unfortunately none of this improved the NCM price which declined by 2.3%.
RB - I guess that makes the winners Zia and Obewan. Congratulations! Go back to the penthouse and rest up. You'll be picked up by limousine for a moonlit tour of the city, before coming back to the Zoomba Lounge for the premium package. We'll see Costa and Mowibble in the boardroom.
RB - So what the hell happened? You tried to kidnap Ross Garnault? Costa - We just thought because he is an expert at the snowjob, that we could get him to assure the NCM stockholders. Mowibble - I just went along with Costa, but I thought it was a stupid idea. Costa - Stupid? You didn't have any ideas, you just kept making sure the project manager was held responsible for defeats. Mowibble - But it was my idea to go incognito. RB - You call Batman and Superman incognito. Mowibble - Well, I will not wear any other costume, and we thought another superhero would be best. RB - Look I've heard enough, leave us for a few minutes.
RB - Well they're both culpable, what a disaster!. HP - Bit of a laugh though, and Ross Garnault is a knob. Mitta - Costa was the project manager, but Mowibble was responsible for the subtle costumes. RB - Ok Penny, ask them to come in please.
RB - It was a total disaster gentlemen, and both of you had a hand in that result. Costa, a poor idea that would have had no effect on the shareprice. Mowibble, you did nothing to help and have a warped understanding of being discreet. It was a hard choice, but the deciding factor is that Costa is Greek and those buggers need jobs. Mowibble.....You're Fired
Mowibble in the taxi on the way home.
Oh I had a good run, I just hope that Costa bloke doesn't win. I implored him to get the Spiderman outfit, I'm sure that was a turning point in the challenge.
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