heads must roll, page-24

'REEDER

Only stupid people are racists or 'ists' of any kind, including serial 'being offendists'.
Take a few of the "precious" pills that you are on, ? , and see if you are able to construe something to be offended by when you read the results of the OZ-words competition below. By the way, I wouldn't take any more of those "take life so seriously" pills either, and the "don quixote" tonic is right out of the question.

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Following are results from an OZ-words Competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by one letter only, and supply a witty definition. Clearly, you need to be an Aussie to understand.

Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole.
Bludgie: a partner who doesn't work, but is kept as a pet.
Dodgeridoo: a fake indigenous artefact.
Fair drinkum: good-quality Aussie wine.
Flatypus: a cat that has been run over by a vehicle.
Mateshit: all your flatmate's belongings, lying strewn around the floor.
Shagman: an unemployed male, roaming the Australian bush in search of sexual activity.
Yabble: the unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans.
Bushwanker: a pretentious drongo, who reckons he's above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub.
Crackie-daks: 'hipster' tracksuit pants.

And for the Kiwi's amongst us:

Shornbag: a particularly attractive naked sheep.