I reckon, and worrying that appear to be pretty close to being...

I reckon, and worrying that appear to be pretty close to being "richard" mate. Please don?t be so despondent about things. Think of your family and friends; try to consider your fellow posters, even those who would not agree with you in a thousand years - the posters whose ideas do not line up with your view of how things should be! We are all plugging for you matey and hoping that you see and accept the world for what it is so that you pull through