Two solutions for you, without having to break the bottle:
1. Put the beer bottle in the freezer for an hour; or
2. Eat lots and lots of chocolate #
Both can cause testicular atrophy, which should help you in your current predicament.
Note: Testicular atrophy refers to the 'shrinking' of your testicles, which are the two male reproductive glands located in the scrotum.
As you are away, the scrotum’s main function is to regulate the temperature around the testicles, which it does by shrinking in response to cold temperatures. This can make it feel like your testicles are smaller.
Solution 3
Alternatively, get two house bricks and make sure you get your thumbs out of the way. The risk with this solution is you may end up singing soprano.
# Various studies have reported that theobromine, the main stimulant of cocoa, exerts toxic effects on the testis, inducing testicular atrophy
