You're being watched larry.I phoned them from my plush office on...

You're being watched larry.

I phoned them from my plush office on the 102nd floor of the Empire State building to get your account switched.

Yesterday, while lunching at Central Park I phoned your credit card company. It appears you are diligently paying the full balance out at the end of the month, ensuring that you pay no interest. As a result of this we will be terminating your credit cards. Credit card companies don't make money from customers like you.

As a result of bringing in the auditors to take a closer look at our CDOs we notice that your CBA mortgage is in there. Knowing that your credit cards are about to be cancelled, and your bank has downgraded your customer level, we are considerably worried about your ability to repay your debts. Consequently your mortgage debt has been categorized "SUB-PRIME" (yes - it is spelt with a Zee). We will be asking CBA to start foreclosure proceedings next week.

Good luck with your CQT shares. Your margin lender has been instructed to short sell them down to 20c. This will be the final nail in the financial coffin.

Eventually you will have to take a teacher's assistant job at the local high school correcting grammatical mistakes in students' homework just to make ends meet. Then your wife will leave you (you see - there is an upside to all this).


Joel