Seems to me you have all had abusive or non-existent fathers in your earthly existence and you are looking for similar traits in your God.
It's not God I'm looking too.
I'm just living my reality.
It is a conscious decision.
I took this decision before I read the Bible.
Biblical talk here is just that.
The connection is words with spirit.
I'm truly sorry for your losses and what you may be going through.
I wouldn't know what to begin to say.
Go as well as you can.
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