Let's all kick back and have a bit of a laugh - good for the blood pressure you know:
Customer: "Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now."
Pet-shop owner: "No, no he's not dead, he's -- he's resting! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian blue, isn't it, aye? Beautiful plumage!" --
From "KordaMentha's Flying Circus"