"My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce."
This one reminds me of that brilliant line from Fawlty Towers, when the American asks Basil for a Waldorf salad.
"I'm dreadfully sorry, sir, but we seem to be right out of waldorfs."
