>IF QANTAS SOLD PAINT
>
>Firstly, typical conversation from ordinary hardware store that sells paint:
>Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
>
>Clerk: We have regular quality paint for $18 a litre and premium
>paint for $25. How many litres would you like?
>
>Customer: Five litres of regular paint please.
>
>Clerk: Great. That will be $90 plus GST.
>
>
>Now, imagine you are buying paint from Qantas. First you try
>reaching them by phone to ask if they have paint.
>All you get is music on hold, so you drive to a Qantas store.
>
>Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
>
>Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
>
>Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
>
>Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a litre, and we have 60 different
>prices up to $200 a litre.
>
>Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
>
>Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
>
>Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.
>
>Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
>
>Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.
>
>Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
>
>Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
>
>Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks.
>But you will have to agree to start painting before
>Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
>
>Customer: You've got to be kidding!
>
>Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.
>
>Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
>
>Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sell
>only ascertain number of litres on any given weekend.
>Oh, and by the way, the price per litre just went to $16. We don't
>have any more $12 paint.
>
>Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
>
>Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times
>day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the
>store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you
>purchase your paint as soon as possible. How many
>litres do you want?
>
>Customer: Well, maybe five litres. Make that six, so I'll have enough.
>
>Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't use
>it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of
>the paint you already have.
>
>Customer: WHAT?
>
>Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall
>and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before
>you do the bedroom, you will lose your remaining litres of paint.
>
>Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already
>paid you for it!
>
>Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used,
>every drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of
>problems.
>
>Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I
>don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
>
>Clerk: Oh yes! Every litre you bought automatically becomes the $200 paint.
>
>Customer: But what are all these "Paint on sale from $10 a litre" signs?
>
>Clerk: Well, that's for our budget paint. It only comes in
>half-litres. One $5 half-litre will do half a room. The second
>half-litre to complete the room is $20. None of the cans have
>labels, some are empty and there are no refunds, even on
>the empty Cans.
>
>Customer: To hell with this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!
>
>Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your
>bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining
>room from someone else, but you won't be able to paint your
>connecting hall and stairway from anyone but us. And I
>should point out sir, that if you paint in only one direction, it
>will be $300 a litre.
>
>Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!
>
>Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the point at which you
>started. A hallway is different.
>
>Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in
>one direction, you'll confiscate the remaining paint.
>
>Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference on
>your next litre of paint. But I believe you're
>getting it now, sir.
>
>Customer: You're insane!
>
>Clerk: But we're now THIS COUNTRY'S only paint supplier! so don't go
>looking for bargains! Thanks for painting
>with Qantas.
- Forums
- ASX - General
- IF QANTAS SOLD PAINT
IF QANTAS SOLD PAINT
-
- There are more pages in this discussion • 2 more messages in this thread...
You’re viewing a single post only. To view the entire thread just sign in or Join Now (FREE)