in extremely bad taste!, page-2

Irish newlyweds turn up at their hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite . The receptionist asks "Do you have reservations?"

Bride says "Well . . . I'm a bit worried about taking it up the "censored"

Paddy caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself . He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says "Don't laugh, your "censored" next !!"

Woman goes to the Doctors and says "I'm getting too much discharge" .
Doctor says "Pop your knickers off and slip onto the bed" . He puts on his latex gloves and applies 3 fingers into her vagina .
"How does that feel?" he asks .
"censored lovely" she replies "But the discharge is in my ear !"

An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible" .

sorry - watso deleted the rest , because he could not understand it, himself


mmm this bit - watso previously got moderated - so better not post again



Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years . "
His Dad replies "Never mind Son . Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part !!"

Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue .
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too . "
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet ?"
"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though . Her clothes arrived yesterday !!"


The police came to my front door last night, holding a picture of my Wife . They said "Is this your Wife Sir?" Shocked, I answered "Yes!" . They said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been in a car accident" . I said "I know but she has a lovely personality !"

Lost my job as a lifeguard yesterday . .
Apparently refusing a Muslim entry to the pool whilst tapping the "No bombing" sign isn't the done thing .

Man walks into WH Smith and says "Do you have the new self-help book for men with really small dicks?
Girl says "I don’t think it’s in yet"
He replies "Yeah, that’s the one !!"