"I felt really uncomfortable, essentially because she wanted to act as my servant, making my bed, doing my washing, not allowing me to help in the kitchen etc."
Yes, it's a cultural difference, so we are not used to it. Our culture seems to make women feel ashamed of accepting this role in a family, plus our economy has adjusted to having two incomes. Hence more stress and marriage breakups IMO.
"Talking to her, it emerged that the family's economic situation was the prime reason she had wanted to marry an Australian."
It's true that most Filipinos have at least one member of the family working overseas for many years sending money back home. It's a tough life being separated from their loved ones, and I think their religion is what holds it all together. But if they marry a foreigner they don't have the separation issue.
But it's interesting looking at what attracts a woman in Asia vs a developed country. Over there they will look for a man with some wealth, good stable job, and maybe some status in a company (if he is lucky enough to have that). Physical attributes are well down the list. Here that might simply be regarded "gold digging", but the fact is that it can be the foundation of a good relationship. The other aspects of the relationship develop from there. I've seen many successful relationships work that way, Chinese as well as Filipinos. It's just another cultural difference.
Sorry to hear what happened to your father's wife. Life can be tough, but at least they had some good time together. One of my wife's daughters in the Philippines just had a double mastectomy last week at aged 40. We are hoping it will be ok from here. No Medicare over there, you either pay up or that's the end of it. So I'm chipping in on the hospital costs.
