Is it Woke to care about women?

Originally posted by Joannie: ↑

I have just come across this thread and I have read ENOUGH!

You are a kind intelligent gentleman @zipperlip.

I got into conversations with @Parsifal about 3 years ago, on the lounge thread from memory.
Parsifal, you love controversy, you love arguing and I think you have a problem with men.
I made it very clear to you in the beginning, that I strongly dislike arguing, the odd tiff here and there is normal, but when people carry on and on. Imo, it is because they are trying to look superior, or enjoy putting others down.

Reading as far as I have in this thread, has badly triggered me. Yes, I was one of the children who was regularly beaten up, almost on a daily basis by my Mother.
It led to a life full of anxiety, fear, panic attacks and ptsd.

You were aware of this on that Sunday afternoon when you and@Justis visited us at our farm. Sadly @zipperlip was unable to join us.
I honestly think, that you were totally unaware of what you did to me that afternoon.
You knew quite a lot of my story, but you bowled straight in, sat down next to me and attempted to FIX ME.

What I mean, is you gave me The Spanish Inquisition, fired questions at me and then told me that I had answered incorrectly.
My husband and Justis were socialising over the other side of the room, you were not aware that you brought me to tears!
I was really upset and traumatised at the way I felt that you were literally bullying me.
It was like being back with my Mother again.

I have kept this to myself, all of this time, but tonight, reading your posts I am upset again.
Just damn well calm down Parsifal.
I do not understand what you are coming from, but you can be quite unkind.
I guess I should apologise for my blatant direct honesty, which you may see as quite scathing, but what happened that afternoon, cut really deep.

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You know quite possible a person has the best of intention but their efforts are misguided and hurt more than they help. Indeed she loves controversy arguing but doesn't know when to drop the matter, I had such experiences where to put an end to the subject I would say "Frankly my dear I don't give a Damn". Well that doesn't go down to well.

On the matter of domestic violence, it's just not acceptable under any circumstances. With out doubt men are the main perpetrators of domestic violence but I hate to say that some women knowingly or unknowingly provoke their husband partner. My mother suffered DV at the hands of my dad and latter in like I realised that my mother was partly to blame because she was forever pestering him and she did so when he was drunk that is when he would lose control and become violent. Dad eventually learnt it was best just to shut his mouth and walk away/go outside and pretend to be deaf but that didn't stop mum and it latter years we would tell mum off for continuing to shout at dad after he had walked away.

So I would say to those that have been the subject of DV to look at there own behaviour and see if they are in some way provoking/inflaming the situations. I have been in there same situations but have enough self control, actually I am just a pacifist, to resist resorting to violence. But I can understand that stress and emotions over whelms people

I find the quote "Frankly my dear I don't give a Damn" is probably not a good one to use when couples argue, a better strategy is stop the argument and agree to talk at a latter time once heads and emotions have cooled down. Yeah if only it was that easy