You know quite possible a person has the best of intention but their efforts are misguided and hurt more than they help. Indeed she loves controversy arguing but doesn't know when to drop the matter, I had such experiences where to put an end to the subject I would say "Frankly my dear I don't give a Damn". Well that doesn't go down to well.
On the matter of domestic violence, it's just not acceptable under any circumstances. With out doubt men are the main perpetrators of domestic violence but I hate to say that some women knowingly or unknowingly provoke their husband partner. My mother suffered DV at the hands of my dad and latter in like I realised that my mother was partly to blame because she was forever pestering him and she did so when he was drunk that is when he would lose control and become violent. Dad eventually learnt it was best just to shut his mouth and walk away/go outside and pretend to be deaf but that didn't stop mum and it latter years we would tell mum off for continuing to shout at dad after he had walked away.
So I would say to those that have been the subject of DV to look at there own behaviour and see if they are in some way provoking/inflaming the situations. I have been in there same situations but have enough self control, actually I am just a pacifist, to resist resorting to violence. But I can understand that stress and emotions over whelms people
I find the quote "Frankly my dear I don't give a Damn" is probably not a good one to use when couples argue, a better strategy is stop the argument and agree to talk at a latter time once heads and emotions have cooled down. Yeah if only it was that easy
