An Irish Priest has a hen coop with a number of hens and one rooster. One Saturday he goes into the coop to get some eggs, and can't find the rooster. This bothers him because he believes that some people engage in c*ck fighting in the parish. The priest figures he can find the culprit at mass the next day.
On Sunday, he gets up in the pulpit and says, 'all of you who have a c*ck, stand up'!
ALL THE MEN IN THE CHURCH STOOD UP.
'No, no!' says the priest, 'I mean all of you who have seen a c*ck, please stand up'.
ALL THE WOMEN IN THE CHURCH STOOD UP.
'No, no!', says the priest. 'I mean, all of you who have seen a c*ck that doesn't belong to you, stand up'.
HALF OF THE WOMEN IN THE CHURCH STOOD UP.
'No! You still don't understand. All of you who have seen my c*ck, stand up'.
ALL OF THE NUNS, HALF THE ALTAR BOYS, AND ONE GOAT STOOD UP.
