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Column 1
I used to think I was just a regular guy, but . . I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist;
I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist;
I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobic;
I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business;
I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel;
I am older than 70, which makes me a useless old man; I think and I reason for myself, therefore I doubt anything and everything that the main stream media tells me, which, I assume, must make me a reactionary;
I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive culture, which makes me a xenophobe;
I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist;
I believe in hard work, fair play, & fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist;
I believe in the defence and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant;
A couple of years ago a woman called me and all of my friends a “basket of deplorables,” whatever that means.; Please help me come to terms with the new me...
because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!
I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking - I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly. And, as if all this crap wasn't enough to deal with, I'm now afraid to go into either restroom . . .
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