its hard being old

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    An 85-year-old man was requested by his   Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

    The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take  this jar home and bring back a semen sample  tomorrow.'  

    The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared  at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,  which was as clean and empty as on the   previous day.  

    The doctor asked what happened and the man  explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried  with my right hand, but nothing.  Then I tried  with my left hand, but still nothing.  

    'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with  her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.  

    'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door  and she tried too, first with both hands, then an  armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between  her knees, but still nothing.'

    The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'    

    The old man replied,  'Yep, none of us could get  the jar open.'
 
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